January 2005

Sugar and Spice

Many brides want a flower girl for that “princess wedding” look

by Loukia Borrell

It may not be at the top of her list, but eventually a bride has to decide if she wants a flower girl in her wedding. As with many other aspects of wedding planning, there are no rules regarding the use of a flower girl.

Younger brides with big bridal parties are likely to include a flower girl because it fits the “princess wedding” vision to have a little girl sprinkle petals along the aisle, says Kathleen Murray, Real Weddings Editor for The Knot magazine. “Older brides are also including their nieces and/or friends’ children into their weddings as a way to include them in the family celebration. Moreover, with so many remarriages, we often find brides incorporating their children into their processionals,” Murray says.

Wedding experts say the best ages for flower girls are between three and eight. A child younger than three may not understand what is expected of her, while a child older than eight is losing that little girl look that brides want and is better suited to be a junior bridesmaid. A junior bridesmaid, usually between the ages of 9 and 13, adds a youthful touch to the ceremony.

A flower girl may walk down the aisle alone or, if she is a bit nervous, with another child. It is acceptable to have two flower girls walk down the aisle for added confidence. A ring bearer can serve as a flower girl’s escort, says Shawna Baines, owner of Sistabride Wedding Planners, a wedding consulting business serving Hampton Roads. Baines says all the children in the wedding should be coached well in advance of the wedding so they will be prepared on the big day. Baines also suggests the child’s parents sit close to the front of the ceremony to help calm nerves.

Traditionally, flower girls have been dressed to match the bride, but that is changing, says Kathryn Wagner, sales manager and bridal buyer for All The Rage. Look for more color. ‘The choices for flower girls have come a long way from the white or ivory-only days. The brides now are opting to match their flower girls to the bridesmaids’ colors,” Wagner says.

She says that while the color choices are changing, the styles are still simple. Organza is a big hit, while other fabrics include tulle, satin and silk. Cap sleeves, sashes, bows and ribbon trim highlight fabrics. Hair can be girlish—worn down with curls—or pulled back for a more grown-up look. A touch of lip gloss, blush and mascara bring out a flower girl’s features.

Here are some tips from Murray to help the big day run smoothly: If possible, arrange to have the flower girl attend the shower and/or the bridesmaids’ lunch (if the bride is having one) to boost her comfort level around the other (bigger) bridal attendants. Seeing friendly, familiar faces on the big day will help ease any anxiety. The very young flower girl should sit with her parents after she walks; poised little ladies may stand at the altar with the other bridal attendants. Flower girls are part of the bridal party and should be included in the rehearsal dinner and reception. They are usually seated with their parents; of course, if they’re daughters of the bride and or groom they are seated at the head table.