January 2006

Destination Hampton Roads

Entertaining out-of-town guests for the entire wedding weekend.

By Loukia Borrell

Once upon a time, tying the knot involved a few hours of watching two people get married, attending their reception and heading home at the end of the night with party favor in hand. Today, however, the trend of turning weddings into a mini-vacation for guests has changed what people expect when they are invited to them, especially when they have to travel long distances in order to attend.

Dubbed “destination weddings” by industry insiders, the growing popularity of planning events before and after the wedding is meant to give out-of-town guests things to do.

According to Fairchild Bridal Group, which publishes Brides, Modern Bride and Elegant Bride magazines, nine percent of all couples have destination weddings, a 200 percent increase in the last decade. Other Fairchild statistics show couples that have destination weddings spend an average of 41 percent less on their reception than couples who have average weddings. And couples that choose a destination wedding over a basic ceremony/reception have a higher combined household income and a smaller wedding party.

Kathleen Murray, weddings editor for The Knot, says although venues like the Caribbean, Florida or Hawaii are popular choices for destination weddings, activities can be planned in any city. “The best way to go about doing it is to keep wedding guests in the loop,” Murray says. Let guests know well in advance what is being planned.

Here, Murray and Reva Stein, a Virginia Beach-based wedding consultant, offer some ideas if you are planning a destination wedding in Hampton Roads.

• Plan activities for your guests, but make them optional so they don’t feel pressured to attend everything. Advise your guests what you will be paying for and what they will cover. Generally, the guest pays for optional events, while someone in the bridal party covers events attended by everyone. Stein says the bride and groom must keep in mind that it is expensive to attend an out-of-town wedding, and some guests may not be able to pay for many extras.

• Friday should be a day when guests start creating chemistry that will keep the mood upbeat all weekend. “It is really about getting everyone together and getting people acquainted,” Murray says. If you have history buffs on hand, Stein says, plan day trips to local historic homes, or venture up to Colonial Williamsburg, Jamestown or Yorktown. Art buffs will enjoy the Chrysler Museum of Art or the Contemporary Art Center of Virginia. Those with nautical interests might like a visit to the Virginia Aquarium & Marine Science Center, Nauticus and the USS Wisconsin.

• If people prefer to stay put or are arriving later in the morning, plan a casual buffet lunch at the hotel where most guests are staying or a nearby restaurant. Make it unstructured so people can drop in or leave whenever they choose. If you have sports enthusiasts on hand, consider organizing a golf outing or a trip to see a midday baseball game. The Virginia Sports Hall of Fame and Museum in downtown Portsmouth is another option for sports fans.

• By Friday evening, many of the wedding guests have arrived. Traditionally, a rehearsal dinner is held the evening before a wedding, and it is important to keep it from overshadowing the actual wedding. To avoid that, Murray says, host an event that creates a different vibe. If your wedding reception is going to be in a swanky hotel, host a casual barbecue the night before. If your wedding is a casual garden event, have a formal rehearsal dinner.

• Avoid activities the day of the wedding, unless the ceremony is later in the day or early evening. Guests want to have free time, too. They can relax at the hotel or do something that won’t take up a lot of time. A wine tasting or a couple of hours at a spa will work nicely. “You want to keep the wedding day pretty low key,” Murray says.

• The day after the wedding, a family member of the bride and groom or a close friend can host a post-wedding brunch so people can say goodbye to the newlyweds and to each other. This event can be at someone’s house, the hotel where the reception took place or a restaurant. See if the videographer can do a quick edit and show footage of the wedding and reception to allow guests to relive the evening.

• If young children are attending the wedding, hire a few babysitters or activity coordinators to entertain them while adults attend events. They can have an outing to the Virginia Zoo, the Children’s Museum of Virginia, enjoy a pizza party with games, make crafts or watch movies in a designated room at the hotel.