Fall/ Winter 2008

A World of Weddings

In this issue—Celtic, Amish and Quaker customs.

by Loukia Borrell

In the January issue of Hampton Roads Bride, we began a new series to give couples ideas about how to bring customs and traditions from other cultures into their wedding plans. HRB visited Africa and learned how weddings are done in various African nations. In this issue, our world tour continues with a look at Amish, Celtic, and Quaker wedding traditions.

Amish

The Amish live primarily in areas of Pennsylvania, Ohio and Indiana and are best known to other communities for their minimal lifestyles: simple clothing, self-sufficiency, and horses and buggies for transportation.

According to Timeless Traditions by Lisl Spangenberg, a young man wishing to court a young woman will borrow his family's horse-and-buggy and pay a visit to the girl's home. When the girl sees a lighted flashlight from her window, she opens the door for the young man. Amish believe in secrecy during courtship, so parents retire for the evening when the suitor comes to visit, says Carolyn Mordecai, author of Weddings: Dating & Love Customs of Cultures Worldwide.

The young couple spends time alone or with another couple playing games and talking. When a couple decides to marry, the young man will enlist the help of an Amish minister to ask the girl's parents for permission to marry. The intention of a wedding is announced or “published” to the congregation. Amish brides do not receive engagement rings. Instead they are given practical gifts they can use in their home. Amish brides typically wear blue or purple dresses that they will use again and be buried in. The dress is plain—no train, lace or beading—and reaches to mid-calf. The bride and her attendants wear capes and aprons over their dresses.

Typically, an Amish wedding is held at the bride's family home. The service is three hours long and usually begins by mid morning. The dinner tables are set up in the living room in a U-shape around the walls. A corner of the table, also known as “the Eck,” is reserved for the bride and groom. The bride sits on the groom's left, as they will sit in their buggy. The wedding feast includes fowl, stuffing, potatoes and gravy, fruit, pies, cookies, cakes, doughnuts and candies. Celery is a main ingredient in an Amish casserole served at weddings. The bride's parents usually plant several hundred stalks to prepare for the wedding feast. The leafy part of the celery is used to decorate jars on the tables. Following the feast, there is hymn singing and children play in the barn.

In the afternoon, older adolescents visit and do some matchmaking. There is an evening meal and the festivities go on into the night. The couple's honeymoon is spent visiting relatives on the weekends in the winter months. During this time, the newlyweds collect wedding gifts—mostly household items. When spring arrives, the couple typically leaves the bride's parents and sets up their own home.

Couples marry in the fall, from October to December, Mordecai says. Having the wedding in the fall—after the harvest—makes it easier for more people to attend

Celtic

Though Ancient Celts were found throughout Europe, Modern Celts are generally more concentrated and are found, among other areas, in Wales, Brittany, Scotland, Ireland, Isle of Man and Cornwall. One Celtic tradition is a “loving” cup that is used during a ceremonial toast. The purpose is so the bride and groom will share their first drink together as a married couple and to show the union of two families. The cup is passed down through generations to ensure happiness and good luck to those who drink from it.

Another Celtic custom is to present the bride and groom with a “bell of truce.” The bell is incorporated into the wedding ceremony, is blessed and given to the couple by the officiant. When an argument comes up, one of those quarreling is supposed to ring the bell and call for a “truce.”

Handfasting, which is a custom celebrated by various cultures, dates to Celtic ceremonies at least to the Middle Ages. Viewed as a temporary marriage—a year and a day—it is performed chiefly in small villages to bind the couple together until a clergyman can arrive to perform a ceremony. A cord or tartan cloth can be used to show the couple is now one. After the handfasting, the groom takes tartan cloth and pins it to the bride's shoulder.

Instead of a tuxedo, grooms typically wear a kilt for the ceremony. Brides and attendants can incorporate Celtic jewelry designs into their accessories and gowns. Brides carry herbs under their veils to symbolize faithfulness, and spices to ward off evil spirits. Music in the form of a bagpiper is another way to add Celtic tradition to weddings.

Quaker

In Quaker traditions, someone who wants to marry has to make a formal written request to the congregation, Spangenberg says. Then, a marriage committee is appointed to decide whether or not the couple is ready for marriage. Among the issues considered is the couple's education, financial stability and maturity. If the committee decides the couple is ready for marriage, several people are assigned to be “spiritual advisers,” and to offer help with planning the wedding.

Though some Quaker weddings are now including a traditional processional, traditional Quaker weddings take place mostly in silence without a procession or wedding party. Once the bride and groom are inside the meeting house, they seat themselves with the rest of the congregation. When the moment is right, they stand and exchange vows. Typically, Quaker worship services are conducted without a minister while the congregation worships in silence. If someone is “moved” by the Spirit, one can add to the service by offering an observation or prayer. A new element to Quaker weddings is the exchange of rings. The marriage certificate is written by a calligrapher on a large piece of parchment. It is signed by guests at the wedding, then framed and hung in the new bride and groom's home.